My computer needs an exorcism?

My computer may be speaking in tongues.

I am aware that my computer is not, uh, say, the apex of technology.  In fact, a tech-nerd friend recently looked at my computer and more-or-less insinuated my computer belonged with some men painting pretty pictures of buffalo and deer on the wall of the cave.

It’s about 4 years old, and was bought as a replacement laptop my junior year of college after I’d spent an entire semester sans-functional computer and fighting with our on-campus computer-fixer service who didn’t so much “fix” my computer, and instead did something closer to “break” said computer. And then charged me $30. Fuck that.

While I had some hard-earned money, I did not necessarily have a great deal of it, and therefore I bought the cheapest computer available at CompUSA, and declared that in order to preserve its life for as long as possible, I would download as little as possible and use it only in the capacity of a) word processing, b) iTunes and c) basic internet services.

Four years and four cities later, I have stuck fairly close to that vow.  In fact, I never even upgraded my operating system to use Microsoft Word. No, I still have the (utterly craptastic) Microsoft Works Word Processor, which is compatible with nothing, and makes for turning in work electronically super-duper fun annoying.

Despite this all, I think my computer is starting to rebel. Or it’s slowly becoming possessed by some sort of demon.  See evidence below:

  1. In the time it takes to start up my computer, I can watch nearly half an episode of the Daily Show.
  2. Internet connection disappears arbitrarily and the computer utterly refuses to find any available networks until I restart (see #1). This can happen anywhere from zero to five times a night while my roommate’s computer remains connected to our wireless network.
  3. Suddenly one night about a year ago, the computer decided it will not work unless plugged into the wall.  The battery dies less than 2 minutes after unplugging (see #1).
  4. Every so often the screen will blank out, giving me a screen with white vertical lines on a whiteish background, sort of like this (but more white):
    Vertical White Lines of Death

    Vertical White Lines of Death

    Have to restart (see #1).

    And my favorite and most recent addition to the “Computer Slowly Possessed by Evil Spirits” Theory:

  5. My computer has started typing backwards.  Every so often I’ll go to type in a URL or something into the Google Search bar, and instead of coming out “pink fish”, I end up with “hsifkni p”.  Yeah. I have no idea. And fixed how? That’s right, see #1.

My computer is in serious needs of an exorcism.


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    […] Filed under Rambles, Raves &#183 Tagged Biking, Chicago, Computers, People, Random, Stupidity As previously discussed, my computer/internet is not what one would call “top of the line.”  For this reason, […]

  2. 2

    […] like your burning flaming computer? actually, can you get video of that – id like to see […]

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