People around me are brilliant

I recently told a coworker about how my physical-therapist-in-training roommate is a feckin’ genius and managed to figure out what is causing these horrible painful headaches I’ve intermittently had for the past year on the right side of my head.  We’re talking every couple of month, stabbing shooting pains above my right temple for no warning.  My doctor, after 10 minutes of questions gave me the profound answer of, “That’s weird.”
Uh, thanks?  I’m glad you went to med school to diagnose me as “weird.”  Yeah. Like I haven’t heard that one before.
Carrying on, after gushing about my brilliant roommate for about 10 minutes, my coworker suggested I send the following letter to her professor. Please note, I did not write this, as I am not this witty:
DEAR TEACHER LADY/GUY,

MY ROOMMATE HAS USED HER MUSCLE WITCHERY TO COMBAT MY HEADACHES, WHICH WERE SUPER BAD.  SHE IS POSSESSED OF GREAT AND TERRIBLE POWERS AND MUST BE APPEASED WITH EXTRA CREDIT.
HERE IS A SPIDER FOR MY HALF OF THE COST OF THE PARCHMENT ON WHICH YOU MUST RECORD HER NOBLE DEED.

IN HEALTH AND HOPPINESS,
ME
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