Posts tagged Dogs

Sleepwalking FAIL

It’s extremely difficult to pretend you are performing some sort of productive task at work when you are trying to hide your laughter, but instead it comes out as a horrible muffled snort-laughter, coupled with tears streaming down your cheeks.

Exhibit A of “Things I’m no longer allowed to watch at work”:


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Why am I not in Juneau?

Peter came up to me today and started telling me about how he saw Slumdog Millionaire this weekend.  In doing so he played one of those extremely condescending my most favoritest communication games that some people do of trying to SHOCK AND DISTURB you by TELLING YOU HORRIBLE THINGS! and described to me how horrible the slums in India can be.

Dude?  Hi. I went to volunteer in Kolkata, India. Twice. In fact, I led one of the trips. Doubly, at one point I wrote and asked the company and any employees if they’d be willing to donate money.  Good thing there’s not slums in Kolkata.  Wait…

Oh, and I worked for 6 months in townships in Cape Town discussing housing and health issues, and interviewed people while sitting on dilapidated couches in their 1 room shacks.

And I’m trying to go back to school to get my Masters in Public Health, concentrating in Global Health, so I can go work in slums.

But thanks.

The economy sucks. For a week straight, work has made me want to throw bunny rabbits. My landlord won’t let me have a dog. Karl Rove is a conniving assbag. Roland Burris is a giant nutbagGlobal warming is slowly rotting the earthRepublicans in general are driving me to drink. I’ve been in the same place for 6 months.

All of these things compounded read to me as one simple question: Why am I not in Juneau right now? I mean, the world would still be rotting, Republicans would still be asinine, but at least I’d have this in my corner:

The most beautiful day in Juneau

The most beautiful day in Juneau

Because running away from life is way easier than trying to fix it, right?  Le sigh.
FINE logic, you win.  Asshat.

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Things That Make Me Angry

When People whine about $500,000 not being enough money to live on.  OH MY DEAR GOD.

Because the bloggers at Daily Kos mock far better than I, all I shall do is post the ridiculousness to which they respond:

“That is pretty draconian, $500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus,” said James F. Reda, founder and managing director of James F. Reda & Associates, a compensation consulting firm. “And you know these companies that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual dividend.”

Mr. Reda said only a handful of big companies pay chief executives and other senior executives $500,000 or less in total compensation. He said such limits will make it hard for the companies to recruit and keep executives, most of whom could earn more money at other firms.”


Having friends in the corporate world (heathens) I understand the context of that statement. Yet even in context, it is insulting.  Out of context, it makes you want to punch puppies. AND I LOVE PUPPIES.

I’ll feel bad when I see Mr. Reda applying for fucking food stamps.  Assbag.

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Puppy Bowl

I SO am not allowed to watch Puppy Bowl.

I. Want. A. Dog.

It’s pathetic, I’m aware. On the other hand, I do not care. (And hey, look! I’m a poet! I should SO be allowed to raise a dog.)

I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt to broker a deal with my landlord. It goes a little something like this: “Dear Hector. If you allow there to be mice in our house, then you must allow there to be dogs.”

Valid argument, no?

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