Posts tagged Injuries

Things about health care

I can’t really say it better than this. Plus, I can’t draw better than this either, so why try:

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84

I took my bike out today for its inaugural ride along the lakefront bike path (yes, I know it’s June and that’s late but I was injured and so was my bike so ha take that yeah). And, though glorious time and weather it was, by the time I passed Belmont, I was so irked I couldn’t handle it, so I started counting them.

I counted 84.

84 people, between Belmont and Hollywood Blvd. on the southbound bike path Not. Wearing. Fucking. Helmets.

What the fuck.

Do I really need to post more BIKE SMASHY pictures????

No, but I will anyways:

Wear your goddamn helmets

Wear your goddamn helmets

Bike smashies = BAD FUCKING NEWS.

It’s my new goddamn fruitless crusade: Wear your helmets, Chicagoans.  I promise, your flattened fucking hair won’t care.

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Things that make me not-so-much “angry” as much as “sad”

Setting: Office, sunny Monday afternoon.

Characters:
Miguel: Incompetent oaf
Me: Diligent office worker with currently less-than-diligent knee, which is bandaged and propped up on desk

<scene>

Miguel:  Oh, hey, I see your knee is wrapped up and elevated there, what happened?

Me: I was playing volleyball last Thursday, I sprained my MCL in my left knee.

Miguel: Oh, wow, that’s what I hurt, too!

Me: Yeah, you mean with your 5th Workers’ Comp claim injury? When you jumped off the truck?

Miguel: Yeah, that’s the one.  So did you go get it checked out?

Me: Yup. I went to the hospital and got it checked out that night. They said that I sprained my MCL and probably pulled my hamstrings, too.  I pinched something on that side when I came down and it was pretty painful.

Miguel:  Wow, I’m surprised you can put your leg stretched up like that after only a couple of days; I couldn’t do that.

Me: Well, didn’t you tear your MCL?

Miguel: Uuuh, well, the doctor said that it’s only a  really small, tiny tear actually.

Me: Uh, wait, didn’t you miss like, 3 or 4 weeks of work because of that?

Miguel: Well, yeah, ‘cuz I had to get an MRI done and stuff.

Me: But if it’s a small MCL tear that doesn’t need surgery, that usually only takes about 2 weeks to heal,?  Err… I thought?  Well. Um, oookaaayy… well, yeah, usually a sprain is not as bad as a tear though, so I guess I got off easy.

Miguel: But you said it hurt, like, a lot, right? Wow, I still can’t believe your leg is able to stretch and bend like that.

Me: Well.. uh, yeah.  I mean, I had crutches for a few days, and I’m still icing and elevating it, but I’m trying to make sure it doesn’t get too stiff and then bending it when I can. You know.

Miguel: Still, wow.  I couldn’t stretch like that when my knee was hurt.

Me: Well, firstly, different injuries. Secondly, you couldn’t stretch like that before your damn injury.

Miguel: Huh?  Well, I’m doing rehab on it now, but… I guess no rehab for you?

Me: No, not really… I’m just trying to be smart about using it.

Miguel: And you’re at work?

Me: Yes,  because you see, some people can put a brace on their knee AND work at the same time.  I guess I’m just really talented, huh?

Miguel: I guess. It sucks though, I haven’t gotten paid yet for my time missed.

Me: That does suck… but it’s because you have barely tried to contact the Workers’ Comp people because you think someone else will do it for you… even though Sienna has told you about 37 times that you need to call them yourself and take care of it because they need confirmation.  But you haven’t done that yet.

Miguel: Durrr?  Sorry, I missed that.  I was spinning in circles and  ran into a wall. I think I need to go file another Workers’ Comp claim.

Me: Well, you can’t, because our coverage got cancelled thanks to your 5 damn claims.

Miguel: [long pause]  Nooooooooooooo!!!! What will I do when I stupidly injure myself from now on!?!

Me: Quit and file for Disability, once more screwing the system meant to protect you?

Miguel: Heeeeeey now…

Me: JOKE, MIGUEL.

<Fin>

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Things your knee should not naturally do

I discovered last night that –  apparently – while landing after an attack in volleyball your lower leg isn’t supposed to roll outward away from your body while your knee stays straight. This causes a lot of pain and hospital visiting and a lack of ability to play sports for multiple weeks.

Things your knee should not naturally do

Things your knee should not naturally do

WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

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