Posts tagged sports

Things about Milton Bradley

Dear Milton Bradley:

Remember when I was at that game you threw the ball into the crowd with 2 outs? Yeah. I was mad… but I forgave you.

Remember when I was at that game where you dropped two balls in right field in one game, and struck out every time you were at the plate? Yeah. I was mad… but I forgave you.

Remember the entire month of June? And May? Oh, and April, too? Yeah. Forgiven.

With some trepidation, I rallied around you one more time when you swore you “were back 100%” in late July, and I proceeded to give you more chances, because, hell, you’re on the team I love, ergo, you are automatically a beneficiary of some of my hopeless but perpetual optimism.

Really. I’m a Cubs fan. I stick by my team through thick and thin. I suffer through pain and disappointment on a yearly basis. A lot of disappointment.  And I forgive. I don’t boo players on my team or the opponent’s, ‘cuz I think that’s asshatty.

But seriously? All that being said?

Get off my fucking team.

You are the worst parts of baseball all rolled into one.

Get off my team.

Get off my team.

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Things about Sam Fuld 2

SEE???  Do you see how amazing Sam Fuld is yet?

No?  Well go check out his “Big Day” reel from yesterday.  His catch in left (well, the 2nd one) was #1 MLB play of the day and #1 webgem on ESPN for August 22nd.

Yup.

The only downside of this all is I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself if he keeps running face-first into walls across all these MLB parks.  On the other hand… he’s the only one doing a damn thing in the Cubs outfield right now, so… keep on keepin’ on, Sam.

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Things about Sam Fuld

Really… as a follow up to last week, I’ve only got this to say:

sam fuld august 21 2009

sam fuld august 21 2009

Why the heck isn’t he playing every day?!

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Things about gender… and my anger

There’s a recent news story regarding the South African female runner who is being questioned about her sex due to the fact that she, well… looks like a boy.  And runs fast.

No, really.

It’s like being on the playground as a having someone call a little 4 year old girl a boy because she has short hair and likes to play with trucks.

NBC sports reports (emphasis mine):

Semenya dominated her rivals to win the 800 on Wednesday despite revelations that surfaced earlier in the day that she was undergoing a gender test. Her dramatic improvement in the 800 and 1,500, muscular build and deep voice sparked speculation about her gender.

“She was always rough and played with the boys. She liked soccer and she wore pants to school. She never wore a dress. It was only in Grade 11 that I realized she’s a girl,” Eric Modiba, head of the Nthema Secondary School, told the Beeld newspaper.

No.  No, really.

Seriously?!?

I get that there are a tiny number of incidents in sports where a male will pretend to be female in order to gain advantage.  I know it has happened.  But this is fucking ridiculous.

On top of the fact that this is an allegation based completely on rumors, therein lays a larger problem with this whole mess in that  you cannot. test. for. gender.

YOU CANNOT TEST FOR GENDER.

Gender is a societal construct. Yes, I’m aware that makes me sound like a complete flaming liberal (I have no idea why), but you cannot biologically test a person for gender.  No matter how many swabs you collect or doctors you see, you cannot test for gender.

Even Miriam Webster agrees with me, as it defines gender as:
b : the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex

You cannot test for that.  YOU CANNOT TEST FOR GENDER.

So if you’re going to be ridiculous about this and put this person through international scrutiny… at least get the fucking term right. You are not. testing. for. gender.  Have I repeated myself enough yet?!

You are testing for her biological sex.

Which leads me to the fact that the topic of intersex athletes requires a whole separate rant which I do not have the energy for.

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Things about the Cubs

I know that Baker is the hot bat everyone’s excited about lately, but I’ve only got two words:

Sam. Fuld.

I’ve been a fan of his for a while, but lately the kid is on fire.

He’s a smart player, is hot at the plate right now (although admitably is not a power hitter, he’s smart about watching pitches and placing hits), and his defense is better than anyone else in the Cubs outfield – evidenced once again by his game today.

Fuld Kisses the Ivy... again

Fuld Kisses the Ivy... again

The man is running into walls – again – to make the plays.  Cubs outfield hasn’t seen plays like this since… well, Sam Fuld.  The guy has heart.

Milton? Sori?  Be afraid. He’s better than you right now and deserves your salary.

(The fact that ESPN recently reported his love of math and sporcle.com may have increased my appreciation of him, but… c’mon. Dorky fantastic baseball player who plays his all every day? KEEP HIM.)

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Dear Randy Wells

Randy Wells:

On behalf of all Cubs players and fans, I’m sorry.

I don’t really have anything left to say.

Oh, other than to say when you see Kevin Gregg in the locker room, if you have an urge to kick him in the dark void of his loins, don’t fight it.  If Aaron Heilman’s standing next to him, make it a twofer.

Keep on.

Love, Me


PS – You could also send a telegram to Kerry Wood with lots of X’s and O’s.  Well… I mean, it might not help, but it’ll probably make both of you feel better.

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Things that are just plain stupid

I consider myself to be a fan of bicycling.  I’m not perhaps the most hard-core messenger-criticalmass-mountain-biker, but as I don’t own a car and have a love/hate relationship with the Chicago bus system, I biked to work on a regular basis into December this past year.  But… well, then it was winter. In Chicago. And I’m just not that bad ass.

That being said, the birds are now chirping and the month of May has brought around the beginning of summer in Chicago like a fresh cup of coffee that slowly awakens the morning. That’s a terrible metaphor, but go with it, I’m tired (hence the coffee imagery).  And so, with summer, come the return of the bikers!

“Hurray!” says the environment!  “Bloody shit,” say thousands of drivers.

Now, I say this as a bike-lover myself… sometimes the bikers in Chicago make no sense.  Most cyclists are fine, but the ones who aren’t stand out and give a bad name to the rest of us.  For instance: Any biker who rides on Ashland Avenue. WTF? Why? Way to bike someplace where there is not only no bike lane, but there’s barely room for two cars, so that people have to swerve into other lanes to go around you. Oh, and way to do it at rush hour.

But fine. Sure. Mostly it’s just asinine nitpicky things that different bikers see different ways.  But one thing I just find plain damn stupid:

Where the FUCK is your helmet???

Honestly, driving to work this morning, I counted the cyclists I passed – of the 18 I passed, only 6 of them were wearing helmets.  And 4 of them were obviously a family biking to school.

One woman had her helmet with her, not on her head, but naturally instead in her bike basket.

YES. BECAUSE THAT WILL SAVE YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENS:

BIKE SMASHY

BIKE SMASHY

For realz.  This is just plain damn stupid.

All I can say is:

Helmets are hot

Helmets are hot

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